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| 04:11am 06/03/2004 |
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music: new amsterdams - picture in the paper
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its like 4am.... no one is online...
im scared to sleep. im 18 and still afraid of the dark :(
im so pathetic.
am i too 'in your face'?
sorry if i am. (you know who you are)
whats with my choice of music tonight? color me emo |
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Read 29 - Post |
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| 05:32am 05/03/2004 |
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mood:  calm music: i want it that way - bsb
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thankyou for making me smile... and stroking my nose.
( you did this ) |
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Read 21 - Post |
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| 12:53pm 04/03/2004 |
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music: betray the day-postcards
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I like surveys and i found another one
FIRSTS.
First best friend: Dabid Waugh
First car: 76 leyland mini clubmab
First date: some dudes party i think
First real kiss: so dont remember
First break-up: Jade
First screen name: mad_punx i was so bomb
First self purchased album: boys dont cry-the cure i was 10 :)
First pets: tarsha my dog dog
First piercing/tattoo: lip
First credit card: none
First true love: psh
First enemy: im gonna be all political and say... SOCIETY
First big trip: taree in nsw
First musician you remember hearing in your house: hank williams... haha
First CD you owned: clash. i forget which one
.LASTS.
Last cigarette: eww.. never
Last car ride: drove home from work last night
Last kiss: a while ago.. a long while
Last good cry: last night
Last person to see you cry: no one sees me cry
Last library book checked out: the jackal of nar
Last movie seen that you had seen before: bio dome
Last movie seen that you hadn't seen before: dont even remember
Last beverage drank: cherry coke
Last food consumed: light n tangy chips
Last crush: ....
Last phone call you received: i dont even remember that :(
Last phone call you made: flygirl.... but she didnt answer
Last time showered: half an hour ago
Last shoes worn: my dc's
Last cd played: BETRAY THE DAY-numbers (www.betraytheday.com)
Last item bought for someone else: i bought dad some medication
Last item bought for yourself: medication
Last annoyance: waking up
Last disappointment: looking at myself and knowing what im letting ymself become <---totally
Last time wanting to die: notgonna comment
Last time scolded: last night at work.. i got told i shouldnt have gone in...
Last shirt worn: strung out
Last website visited: www.betraytheday.com
when was your first...
kiss...: grade 1
with tongue?: 12ish?
handjob/fingerbang [received]?: no idea
handjob/fingerbang [given]?: 12.. same girl that kissed me.. haha
fuck? 13
oral experience [received]?: 14
oral experience [given]?: 14
anal experience?: *whistles*
do you like...
coital sex?: huh?
oral sex?: giving
anal sex?: no
making out?: love it
handjobs/fingerbangs [receiving]?: nah
handjobs/fingerbangs [giving]?: if you rock
being submissive?: whatev
being dominated?: someone ruined that for me
this or that
lube or spit?: lube
condoms or rhythm?: condoms
missionary or cowgirl?: im a boy?
doggy or standing?: whatever you're down with
food or ice?:
thick or long?: love the box
basic
age:: 18
sex:: duuuuuuuude
sexuality:: straight
number of partners: *walks away*
The Last...
-Last dream :easier not to remember thanks
-Last nightmare ::: *glances up*
-Car ride ::: work last night... we went through this
-Last time you cried ::: last night
-Last movie seen ::: bio dome
-Last movie rented ::: no idea
-Last book read ::: jackal of nar
-Last word said ::: im fucking sleeping dad
-Last curse word said ::: fuck
-Last time you laugh ::: when dad woke me up. he wanted to know if the pc has usb... i said.. i dunno.. he was like... 36x cd-rom... i'll tell the guy that.
-Last phone call ::: that i talked to someone? dad
-Last CD played ::: hatebreed - rise of brutality
-Last song you listened to ::: numbers-betray the day
-Last annoyance ::: waking up
-Last IM ::: Shannin
-Last weird encounter ::: some dude hitching at 2 am last night... he was wearing a cape
-Last person you hugged ::: Shane
-Last person you yelled at ::: Trev
-Last time you wore a skirt ::: i was smashed last year and wore a little tartan number
-Last time you've been evil ::: cruising past this dudes house at 1am... stereo blasting.... i hate the guy.. he hates me... this is how we communicate
-Sarcastic? ::: this morning
-Last time you fought with your parents ::: been a while now
-Last time you wished upon a star ::: dunno
-Played Truth or Dare :::
-Spent quality time alone ::: last night
Randomness
-Are you talking to someone on AIM ::: people are on... but no talking
-Do you feel lonely ::: story of my life
-Ever TP'd someone's house ::: huh?
-How about egging someone's house ::: no
-Do you not like dislike not like me? ::: huh?
-Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? ::: id rather rim myself out
-Yo Momma ::: tee hee hee
-Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? ::: uh huh
-What do you think of George Bush? ::: not gonna comment
-Any secret fetishes? ::: nah
-Do you like to wear chains? O_o ::: i think ive grown out of them
-How many languages do you speak? ::: some
-Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! ::: nah, im using both hands
-Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you XP)) ::: now i have nothing to do |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| 04:12am 04/03/2004 |
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its hard to be the way i am,
painting smiles everyday.
but fuck you all for sympathy.
i'll go about it my own way.
ive even found the perfect tree,
to help me end it all
im only sitting on 180
the bitumen will break my fall.
(please remember everyone. i fucking love you all)
( uh huh ) |
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Read 7 - Post |
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| 03:44am 04/03/2004 |
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I believe in a thing called love says:
coolest song ever
please dont idolize, cos these people are trained to fuck with your mind. says:
what is it?
I believe in a thing called love says:
maybe not ever
I believe in a thing called love says:
shake ya tailfeather
please dont idolize, cos these people are trained to fuck with your mind. says:
ever? i think not... are we forgetting a little band called the backstreet boys.... and a little number they did called i want it that way
please dont idolize, cos these people are trained to fuck with your mind. says:
HUH
please dont idolize, cos these people are trained to fuck with your mind. says:
ARE WE FORGETTING SOMETHING YOU IGNOARNT FUCK
I believe in a thing called love says:
HAHHA
I believe in a thing called love says:
all jokes aside
I believe in a thing called love says:
bsb fucking own
please dont idolize, cos these people are trained to fuck with your mind. says:
no shit they fucking own
i love late night conversations |
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| 02:51am 04/03/2004 |
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mood: fucked still music: earth crisis- smash or be smashed
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im absolutely fucked... nightshift is lame... especially when you're sick...
on the upside... Ebonie is here to keep me company.
i waited all night to write a quote out.. man i feel better.
( Read more... ) |
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| 02:01am 04/03/2004 |
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mood: fucked music: earth crisisgomorrah's season ends
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ohhh someones tough. get those fucking x's off your
hands cause no one cares. all the bands you
listen to are repetitive and sounds the same.
you are funny to watch in the pit though. and
what is the point of wearing a backpack when
you mosh? are you going on a fucking trip
somewhere? i didn't think so. so stop.
what kind of asshole scene kid are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
i dont wear backpacks.... cunt. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| 02:06am 02/03/2004 |
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mood:  lonely
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so i came home from the worst night ive ever had at work... thinking that once im in the safety of my own room.. everything will be ok.
i spotted a piece of paper on my pillow. odd. on further investigation.. i realised i cant even hide in my room. the not was from my mother. a good friend of mine was on her way over to stay with me for a few days. she is one of the most amazing girls ive ever met. i think the only girl that can make me smile no matter how fucked i am or how much im conentrating is her. we use to sit there and stare at each other for hours cos we were so intrigued about what the other was thinking. we could just said... dude, what are you thinking... but thats too hard. since we started hanging out, she has been a part of me. my best friend in the whole world. the only person i can truly depend on to be there for me. i love her with more than my heart.
her car got t-boned by a fuel tanker.
she died at 6:45 pm
and i cant even cry.
bye
( because this always made her laugh ) |
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Read 9 - Post |
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| 03:32pm 01/03/2004 |
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why the fuck is it that when im clearly fucked and sick as shit, my parents go fucking off tap at me for wanting the night off work?
ive been sick for like 2 weeks now and although mum keeps pumping me full of drugs, im getting worse... fucking figure it out dude.. IM SICK.. every night she's like... you'll feel better soon, when the drugs kick in. get fucked you ignorant cunt. are you really that fucking stupid? the answer is clearly yes.
i dont sleep anymore. thats lame.
yeah.. well.. whatever
bye |
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Read 16 - Post |
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| 11:38pm 29/02/2004 |
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mood:  confused music: thrice
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NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO FUCKING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
why does something so awesome have to turn so fucking bad?
why? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
tonight was the best online night ive ever had. no doubt about it. it was all dope untill goodbye time came. then bam.
things are awful.
why do i always fuck up good things?
here's a thought. get fucked world *thumbs up*
please dont hate me Shannin. *tugs at lip ring* please
<3333 heart heart heart |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| 04:34am 28/02/2004 |
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it really is all about having trips down memory lame with special people. i only spent a short short time with her... but the memories are fucking golden.
some old favorites are
-hug me please... *hugs*... from behind ya cunt
-loves the cock... *mimes* loves it
-you sound so cute.. like a 10 year old... yeah, but i dont fuck like one.
-whats a battle?
just a couple. but yeah.. so good.
you're radder than i can even begin explaining dude.
*BIG hugs from behind* |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| 01:48am 28/02/2004 |
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mood:  blah music: who killed the cheerleaders - nekro \m/ (you rock Mish)
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so yeah.. i had tonight off... i had a lot of things planned aswell.. i was gonna go out, get smashed, have fun, listen to 80's hits then pass out. but what did i do instead?
i cleaned my room and wrote music. my heart is still racing from all that excitement. *sits down* thats better.
one good thing did happen tonight.. spit_sink....
you fucking OWN! we have the most meaningful online pre-relationship imaginable :P hahaha. and and and... you're fucking hot! like... 'come here and let me shaft you' hot.
i hope we end up being buddies. cos you're cool.
i wish i knew how to put pics up on here. cos i have so much shit to share with you people.(half of you i dont even know) but WOO! i love new people. www.fujicolor.com.au/zekecore <-- that will have to do for now i guess.
Emo trash, i dont even know if you read my journal but you seem like a pretty amazing girl. dont ask me what im basing that on.. but yeah. i would really like to talk to you sometime. if thats cool with you ofcourse.
why is it that whenever i write music now, i only get one good line in my head... and then thats it? why cant it be like the day... when i use to write shit in my phone on the run cos i was full of inspiration? instead, now i sit here for hours holding my guitar and a pen crying because i cant share any of my thoughts, concerns, feelings, emotions, pain with anyone. bleh. maybe i should take up modern dance... and burn my instruments.
how lame is it that the only friends i really have are online? a large majority of my friends are from places that i havnt even heard of.. i wish people liked me
love you all. except one or two.
thankyou for your time
bye |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| 10:35pm 27/02/2004 |
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mood:  cheerful music: consequence of life
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You are DXM, a somewhat addictive cough supressant.
When taken in certain amounts, you cause the
user to feel disconnected from their body, and
every thought seems like an epiphany. you are
not a social drug.
What Pharmacutical-Turned-Recreational Drug Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Andre, we rock out! maybe you should be together =P |
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Read 1 - Post |
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ezekielthekid's journal
tired